The Power of the Pause
Last Thursday I noticed a new large dark spot on my left arm. For possibly the first time in my life, I was struck with the ever present fragile nature of my mortality.
Was it melanoma?
It looked like it might be. The spot was a good quarter inch in diameter, although it was more square. It initially seemed to have some slight redness to the edges. I felt fear. I scheduled an appointment to get it checked out, which will be tomorrow.
In the past few days, the spot’s aggressive nature seems to have shifted to passive - it’s less dark and any potential red edges have gone away. Was it just my imagination?
Or was it a reminder that each day is a gift?
But how intentionally do we live each day so that months and years later we have the peace and joy of knowing that we loved our best, focused on what was truly most important, and avoided as many mistakes as possible?
What's the process or habit to achieve these three objectives - to love our best, focus on top priorities, and avoid mistakes?
Not attitude. That's a separate post.
Here is what I've learned. I encourage you to consider these simple four plays / game plan to get the most out of life.
GAME PLAN
Respecting our mortality is underrated.
Choose love - the joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self-control, courage, and foresight to primarily spend your time on meaningful activities.
Deny fear - the anxiety, isolation, paranoia, impatience, resentment, self-pity, cowardice, and reactivity that convinces you there is no time to think, no one to trust, and no margin for error.
Unhealthy fear rushes you toward the wrong decision and away from the people who could help you make the right one.
It whispers that pausing is weakness. Fear lies.
How much time do you have left?
Not enough. You’ll want more - particularly more time when you’re healthy.
Here is part of the answer of how to make the most of the time you have:
PLAY #1
THE PAUSE THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING
Pausing before speaking or acting measurably improves decisions and relationships.
There are three pauses that change everything.
First, the pause before responding. Think first. Talk second. Remember the old adage that warned us to be careful with our words: “Ready, fire, aim?”
Why would we ever shoot first and aim afterwards?
Pause before speaking. Often, the best first thing to say is either a question to confirm understanding, or a statement to confirm understanding - “If I understand you correctly, you said…”
IMPORTANT NOTE: This also applies to our internal thoughts. Too often we take a soundbite, opinion, or fact and then stretch it with biased assumption and judgment into a false conclusion based on partial evidence. This is always hurtful - and often, most painful to us in the long-run.
Second, the pause before acting. Acting based on the wrong conclusion causes loss. Loss of time. Loss of relationship. Loss of finances. Loss of health. And more.
It is written, “For lack of guidance a nation falls, but many counselors make victory sure.”
You may feel pressure to make quick decisions and take action. However, rarely is that true.
The opposite is equally true: You do not have an unlimited time to act.
Therefore, develop a habit to gather the facts, make decisions with wise counsel, and take action in just the right amount of time - Goldilocks time - not too fast and not too slow.
Third, take Sanctuary time weekly. Choose at least 15 minutes weekly, if not 30-60 minutes for focus, self-accountability, and thought. No one can hold you accountable as well as you can yourself - although every wise person has counselors they trust with their candor.
IMPORTANT NOTE: When appropriate and without risking the potential outcome, take action in steps rather than fully commit. This limits risk while still progressing forward.
Sources:
#1 - Goldilocks and the Three Bears | https://americanliterature.com/childrens-stories/goldilocks-and-the-three-bears
#2 - The Power of the Pause: Mastering the Art of Deliberate Decision-Making" | Noomii | September 28, 2025 | https://www.noomii.com/articles/16069-the-power-of-the-pause-mastering-the-art-of-deliberate-decisionmaking
#3 - The Power of Pausing in Collaborative Conversations" | ScienceDirect | October 9, 2025 | https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0749597825000676
PLAY #2
MAKE “MAP” A HABIT
Everything you’re working to achieve, individually or as a group, is an effort to move from Point “A” where you are today to Point “B,” which is a destination you have defined as better.
To get there, you need a map.
Here is how your MAP should be organized:
M – Metrics (focus is past) - Accountability on prior commitments.
Did I complete my daily and weekly WINs (“What’s Important NOW?”) and key tasks planned since my last meeting? Did I meet or exceed all the metrics for my responsibilities? Am I consistently demonstrating our mission, vision, and values? Has my team met these standards?
A – Actions (focus is present) – What’s most important to do now?
What actions are being asked or required of me now? For instance, project status; new products, services, processes, clients, or people; or new ideas. Who needs my assistance? Where do I need help, should research information, or make adjustments to stay on track? Anything happening with our competition, the economy, or something else that can affect our progress?
P – Plan (focus is future) – Commitments with due dates to finish before next meeting.
What are my 1-3 WIN priorities? Is my “B” List organized in order of priority based on what I know now? What must be entered in my calendar? What can be removed from my calendar? Who needs to know about this Plan? When is my first check-in on this Plan?
Review your MAP in Sanctuary time to confirm you are on track. Seek help or readjust quickly when you are not.
BRAIN FOOD: Shane Parrish in his Brain Food newsletter of May 24, 2026 advised:
People who get an unusual amount of work done are maniacal about removing things from their lives that others tolerate.
Guarding your time isn't rude; it's how you get stuff done.
Sources:
#1 - Implementation Intentions: Strong Effects of Simple Plans" | American Psychologist | Peter M. Gollwitzer | 1999 | https://www.prospectivepsych.org/sites/default/files/pictures/Gollwitzer_Implementation-intentions-1999.pdf
#2 - The When and How of Planning: Meta-Analysis of the Scope and Components of Implementation Intentions in 642 Tests" | ResearchGate | Peter M. Gollwitzer | March 2024 | https://www.researchgate.net/publication/378870694
#3 - The Power of Reflection at Work" | Harvard Business Review | Francesca Gino & Gary Pisano | May 2014 | https://hbr.org/2014/05/the-power-of-reflection-at-work
#4 - How High-Performing CEOs Manage Their Time Effectively" | The CEO Project | April 6, 2025 | https://theceoproject.com/how-high-performing-ceos-manage-their-time-effectively/
PLAY #3
COMMIT TO A SCHEDULE
From 1978 into the early 1980’s Lee Iacocca led an effort that saved Chrysler Corporation from bankruptcy. One of the disciplines he credited for helping save the American carmaker was every Sunday evening, he would separate himself from the family to spend two hours in his study.
He was alone. No interruptions. No email. First, Iacocca held himself accountable to the previous week’s objectives. Did he follow his plan and accomplish what he had felt was most important?
Second, he considered new information, what had changed during the prior week, what he did not accomplish last week, and his overall plan. From this data, he wrote his new plan for the upcoming week and noted key activities that must be set aside in his calendar.
Iacocca credited this habit as a major reason he was able to stay focused on what was most important each week, and ultimately led the way to achieve his mission: Restore Chrysler’s profitability and market share.
Iacocca had a map to get Chrysler from where it was – his Point “A” - to where he wanted it to be – his Point “B.” He knew his short and long-term goals and how to get there. But he still needed to spend time each week holding himself accountable to his metrics, which was his prior week’s Plan; consider and prioritize Actions for the upcoming week; and then confirm his Plan for the upcoming week.
Sanctuary time is the discipline of an individual or small accountability group spending uninterrupted time to review their MAP and adjust the routes to their various Point “B” destinations they want to reach.
President Abraham Lincoln’s advice:
“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.”
THE PLAY: Schedule time in your calendar each week - 15-60 minutes, as explained in Play #1 above - for Sanctuary time. Choose a time when you are least likely to be interrupted and when you think clearly. (Coffee can help.)
Commit to it. ALWAYS take this time for self-accountability, perspective, and planning - use the MAP system.
NOTE: A 1-5 minute daily sanctuary at the start or end of a day can also increase productivity and focus.
Sources:
#1 - Lee Iacocca, Chrysler saviour, minivan innovator, dies at 94 | Windsor Star | July 2, 2019 - https://windsorstar.com/news/local-news/lee-iacocca-auto-industry-saviour-minivan-innovator-dies-at-94
#2 - Timeblocking" | Wikipedia (aggregates peer-reviewed research) | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeblocking
#3 - How to Make Time for the Work That Matters" | Atlassian Work Life | December 2023 | https://www.atlassian.com/blog/distributed-work/calendar-redesign-experiment
#4 - 27 Productivity Tips That Will Change the Way You Live, Work, and Feel" | RAIN Group | June 27, 2024 | https://www.rainsalestraining.com/blog/27-productivity-tips
PLAY #4
WORK FROM A LIST OR JOURNAL
The “P” in MAP is Plan.
Where’s your plan each week? Each day?
Yes, your calendar supports your Plan, but you need a way to scan your Plan - this week’s - all past weeks - and maybe you list some priorities in future weeks.
1. Gadget / App: Choose one. I use OneNote. It is not perfect due to limited formatting and search features. But when used as a minimalist, it’s easy to create prioritized checklists and scan results.
2. Share: Don’t fly solo, although some information may reasonably be best kept confidential - that can be in a separate app, or section of your app - e.g., a OneNote notebook that is not shared. Sharing your goals and plans has been shown to improve your ability to follow through, achieve more, and experience higher personal fulfillment in the process.
3. Look Back: Review prior week and day notes. Not to boast. Not to shame. To validate the facts, learn, and get better every day.
Sources:
#1 - The Impact of Commitment, Accountability, and Written Goals on Goal Achievement" | Dominican University (Dr. Gail Matthews) | 2015 | https://scholar.dominican.edu/psychology-faculty-conference-presentations/3/
#2 - Want to Be an Outstanding Leader? Keep a Journal | Harvard Business Review | Nancy J. Adler, McGill University | January 13, 2016 | https://hbr.org/2016/01/want-to-be-an-outstanding-leader-keep-a-journal
#3 - What Are the Benefits of Journaling? 200+ Studies Reviewed" | Mindsera | May 2026 | https://mindsera.com/articles/benefits-of-journaling-the-science-of-reflection/
#4 - The Do's and Don'ts of Goal Sharing | Full Focus (Michael Hyatt) | November 28, 2017 | https://fullfocus.co/goal-sharing/
#5 - When Intentions Go Public: Does Social Reality Widen the Intention-Behavior Gap | Peter M. Gollwitzer, Paschal Sheeran, Verena Michalski, Andrea E. Seifert | Psychological Science, Volume 20, Issue 5 | May 2009 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19389130/
Want more?
I humbly suggest this game plan can change your life for the better.
Maybe it's a minor fine-tuning of how you manage your time and focus. For others, this is an opportunity to stop allowing your schedule to control your life - professionally and personally.
If you're stressed out, struggling with priorities or decisions, don't hesitate to reach out to me for a conversation. Possibly I can be a sounding board for you to work through some issues.
I'm not talking about billable time. I'm describing people time. Talking as old friends or new friends. Possibly I can come alongside you for a season that helps you in some way. Just use the email address below and I will respond.
Email me your questions at info@manage2win.com.
Download our time management guide here - https://www.manage2win.com/s/times_up.pdf
Learn more about our services at www.manage2win.com.
Championship teams manage their time well. Yours should too - for your benefit and the benefit of every team member.
See you next week!
- David
P.S. Help a friend - share this game plan.
