People remember how you make them feel
Our memories are subjective. They impact our lives so much, including what food we eat, the friends we hang out with, and the businesses we work with.
There’s a short quiz that’s incorrectly attributed to Charles Schulz, the American cartoonist best known for his Peanuts cartoons with Snoopy and Charlie Brown. It looks like this:
Try naming the:
Five wealthiest people in the world
Last five Heisman trophy winners
Last five winners of the Miss America pageant
Ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize
Last six Academy Award winners for Best Actor & Actress
Last decade of World Series winners
How many of these can you name accurately? Now try naming the:
Few teachers who helped you
Three friends who stuck with you during tough times
Five people who taught you something worthwhile
Three people who have made you feel appreciated and special
Five people you enjoy spending time with
It’s a lot easier to name the people in the second group than it is to name people in first group, right? This is because the people who make a lasting difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards.
It’s the people who care, the people who make you feel appreciated.
Remember this the next time you greet someone for the first time, try to help solve their problem, or have an opportunity to make a difference in someone’s life. You might end up as one of their most memorable people.
Sometimes I have a hard time incorporating this lesson into my life, but I sure do feel it when I’m slighted by someone else.
The Surfing Accident I Felt Horrible About
A few months ago I purchased a nine-foot longboard for use at the famous Malibu surf spot right next to Malibu Pier. It was just a cheap Craigslist find specifically for Malibu.
The spot is conventionally known as just “Malibu” and it’s usually super crowded. This is a relatively light day. Crowd levels can get insane.
A week later I was struggling with work and decided to take a break and try the new board. Malibu didn’t look too crowded and the wind was reasonable.
Most of the session was perfect. A 9ft board has plenty of volume for a guy like me and I caught three awesome waves. I was super proud of myself, it was my second time out there. But you know what they say, “Pride goeth before a fall”.
On my fourth and longest wave I rode maybe 50 yards down the line until I spotted a guy sitting right in my way. He was just sitting there on his board, long hair, goatee, hipster-vibe.
Since the wave was so good I wanted to make it last as long as possible, so I held my line right up to the last second and then tried to turn and avoid Hipster Steve. Unfortunately, I tried to turn too quickly to my left (Malibu is a right-hander that breaks off the point, which means you ride the wave to your right when facing the beach) and the wave pitched a little. I fell to the left and my board shot out to the right, a fiberglass bullseye straight at Hipster Steve.
Immediately my heart sank and I panicked: “Oh crap, please don’t let him be injured too bad!” I popped my head out of the water ready to apologize profusely, which I did immediately.
But Hipster Steve didn’t care. He looked at me like I was the worst person in the world, scowled and exclaimed, “You went straight at me! What if I was an 8-year-old girl?” He wasn’t injured, not in the slightest from what I could see. He was just pissed at the moron on the Craigslist board.
I froze up, neglected to evaluate the situation objectively, apologized twice more, then paddled to the shore and went home disgusted with myself. I had never collided with anyone like that before. I seriously considered quitting surfing right then and there. It took me at least a week to wrap my head around the situation and acknowledge other perspectives of the incident.
I will never forget that encounter, I felt horrible.
Fortunately I have some surf buddies that talked some sense into me. I won’t go into the details, but suffice to say that it was just as much Hipster Steve’s fault as it was mine.
But I will never forget that feeling, and I hope I never make someone feel that way. Life is too short to make another person feel completely worthless.
People remember how you make them feel.
PS. I now refer to that board as The Maneater :)
