Learn from my worst mistakes - #1
My mandate is to help people learn from my PAST mistakes, even though some of those temptations continue...
Let me share #1 of 2 of my biggest mistakes: Keeping information or decisions hidden.
Let me give you an example: It was the Spring of 2001 and my dot-com company had lost its funding. Someone had joined my company who was going to turn it around. I just had to trust him... I committed to personally guarantee company debt without involving my wife in the decision. The company tanked. My personal guarantee cost our family well over a hundred thousand dollars.
What do we call this behavior? WIMPY
Lesson Learned: If I am unwilling (afraid?) to discuss an issue with one or more of my trusted advisors and/or people who will be affected by my decision, then I actually already know that I am wrong. Always.
Let me give you some examples that may apply in your life:
1. You quote a price without confirming your estimate of hours or profitability with your service team, buyers, and/or controller.
2. Your behavior is contrary to your personal values or faith, but you refuse to discuss it. This is particularly challenging when you make the mistake of emailing, texting, or voicemailing your communication. This kind of sets your "oops" in stone...
3. You over promise because you are afraid of the other person's response if you fail to meet their expectations.
4. You make excuses when you know you are wrong.
5. You tell half-truths (withhold incriminating information) when trying to "sell" someone else on your idea / decision, or when you are rationalizing a decision already made.
6. You fail to inform people who will be affected by your decision in-advance of your thoughts or even the decision.
7. You justify your behavior and/or decision because your intentions or end-goal are basically good.
Simple Truth: When you are right it is easy to bring full information into the light.
When we are wrong then full disclosure to appropriate people is uncomfortable at best, and scary at worst.
Our BIGGEST FEAR when tempted to hide information should be the consequences of a bad decision. Relationships get hurt, our future is set back, and we lose valuable time. This is much worse than the relatively minor discomfort of bringing everything into the light.
I made a choice to no longer be wimpy. Although it can be painful, I work diligently to bring everything appropriately into the light with the people who will be affected to make decisions together.
It hurt recently to hear my new friend, Jens Hoj, who is one of the founders of Krave Jerky, tell of risking everything they had to start the company. He said he made the decision with his wife, because without her approval, he NEVER would have gone ahead. They recently sold the company to Hershey for a reported $250 million. (I could only think of what a fool I had been to not make all of my major financial decisions with my wife. I envied his total integrity and repeated my commitment to myself to never go back to that mistake again.)
Avoid the pain. Call your fear what you want. I encourage you to NEVER GO BACK to hiding information and/or mistakes. Life is too short to make mistakes that can be avoided.
Let's be leaders, not wimps.
