Surprise Book Recommendation

My wife wanted me to read Chip and Joanna Gaines' book, The Magnolia Story.  They got famous by their HGTV show, Fixer Upper.

I did not want to read it.

I have stacks of business books I'm trying to work through.  The Magnolia Story might be fun, but at the moment I need to learn, not just read for enjoyment. 

However, I made "her book" a priority because my wife Terry is important to me.  I just finished on Monday of this week.

To be candid, I finished the book at 11:13 p.m. and started crying.  I was in my hotel room, by myself, on a successful business trip.  My tears were for the mistakes I have made in life.  Too many mistakes, which for that moment, crowded out my many successes.

Chip and Jo have not lived flawless lives.  Their book is reasonably candid about mistakes they have made along the way.  Some of them are similar to mine, however they avoided some of my big mistakes.

How about you?  Made any mistakes in your life that still hurt?

Let me share four lessons from The Magnolia Story that hit me the most.  There was a lot of other material in the book that made me think, but these are the biggies.  These life lessons apply to everyone who wants to be an effective leader in their homes, careers, and community.

#1 - Stay Close

When the going gets tough Chip and Joanna work closer together, rather than hide the facts in hopes that things will improve or play the blame game.

(Joanna - page 84)  "Chip and I started working more closely together than ever...

(Joanna - page 86)  "... we seem to grow stronger the more time we spend together..."

(Chip - page 149)  "When things come against us we can either turn on each other, or we can come together and turn on it."

How is your relationship with your spouse affected when times get tough? 

I learned a long time ago that you find out just how good a youth sports coach is by watching them when their team is losing.  Any coach looks great when they are winning.  How well does the losing coach hold it together and remain an encourager and mentor? 

It is the tough times where you really find out what type of leader you are.  You also confirm your priorities, integrity, and depth of love for others.  It is not how your spouse reacts.  When a situation is headed downhill, it is how you respond.

How can you improve your relationship with your spouse when times get tough? What strengths do you have during the tough times that you can build on so your bond with your spouse gets stronger no matter what life throws at you?

These questions can also be asked in consideration of your work relationships. Replace "spouse" with "partner" or "co-worker" and ponder the answers.

#2 - Find Balance

As irritating as it may be at times, humans are designed to often choose spouses with opposite behaviors and motivators.  Joanna had the following revelation after one of Chip's mistakes that we all need to comprehend:

(Joanna - page 73)  "I have a naturally conservative nature, and Chip and I were supposed to balance each other out, not concede to each other's strengths and weaknesses."

Balance in a partnership requires respect, open communication, trust, and a confidence that you are safe explaining a mistake.  Although Chip makes a lot of business decisions on his own, my sense is their best decisions are made together.

If one or both partners play "whack a mole" when the other makes a mistake, then communication breaks down.  Chip and Joanna keep the conversations flowing.

Where can you improve communication with your spouse?

What strengths can you recognize and encourage?

Again, these questions can also be asked in consideration of your work relationships.

#3 - Good Stewardship

Joanna and Chip try to be careful money managers, although their approach is quite different.  Joanna is very risk adverse, whereas Chip is comfortable with what he believes is reasonable risk.  The bottom-line is they both are willing to work hard and smart to earn what they gain.

(Chip - page 98)  "My parents didn't teach me the value of a dollar - and of hard work too."

(Chip - page 99)  "One thing my dad would preach to us when it came to money was, 'I'll provide your needs, but you have to take care your wants.'"

Husband-and-wife need to be equally committed to achieve financial goals.  The standards for spending and saving need to be the same.  Financial boundaries, reporting, and budget discussions need to occur at least monthly, if not more often.  Money is the number one cause of divorce.  Therefore it requires more attention than it typically gets in a marriage.

What are 1-3 improvements you and your spouse can agree to improve the way you manage finances so that stress is lowered, and long-term financial security is attained and retained?

Where are your collective strengths in finances today, and how can you build upon them?

Consider two similar questions in regards to your work relationships.

#4 - No Regrets

There are two voices in our heads.  The one screaming at us is evil or a fool who encourages destructive behavior.  The one softly speaking to us is wisdom.  Couples who make important decisions together typically have better listening skills and consider the soft voice.  This leads to less regrets.

(Joanna - page 148)  "I didn't want to look back at this experience and regret how I handled it."

It is okay to make mistakes, even though some are foolish.  Repeating mistakes is what really hurts.  According to Dr. Henry Cloud's book, Never Go Back, the difference between successful and average people is that successful people do not repeat mistakes.

What mistakes are you and your spouse repeating, and what new habits can you put in place to stop this tragedy?

Where are you and your spouse strongest at avoiding mistakes?  How can you expand this capability to strengthen your marriage and protect your family?

I guess you figured out that I recommend you read Chip and Joanna Gaines's book, The Magnolia Story.

It was fun, but more than that, it was a learning experience. 

Thank you Chip and Joanna!  May you be blessed in all you do, and protected from the dangers success often creates.

Pass Your Batons to Win

It was the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing.  The American men's 400-meter relay team was in contention for the gold medal.  Superstar sprinter Tyson Gay reached back to grab the baton on the final handoff in their preliminary race, "and there was nothing."

The American women's 400-meter relay teams also misconnected on the final handoff in their preliminary race, mirroring the men's shocking defeat.  For the first time in Summer Games history, the U.S. left an Olympics 0-for-6 in the sprint races:  both men's and women's 100s, 200s and 400 relays.  (ESPN)

Have you ever "passed someone the baton" and your "race" was not the winner you expected?

Translation: Have you ever delegated responsibility to someone and the results were less than you expected?

Delegation.  The dreaded "D" word.

Stunning setbacks can be a motivator for GREAT Leaders to review and improve their process for delegating work. 

Delegation takes Systematic Power, the first strand of 3strands LEADERSHIP.  Delegating work is a system, not just a quick directive with assumptions from a superior.  Effective delegation is based on a process of transferring responsibilities between capable team members to achieve mutually agreed upon results by following your organization's best practices.

And... best practices take practice and systems, or your baton drops.

Take a moment to assess where there may be a baton drop in your delegating.  Are you delegating enough?  Are you delegating effectively?  Or are you avoiding delegating because it's just easier to do something yourself?  (Bad choice)

Here are the 7 steps of effective delegation I teach in our Certified LEADER course:

1. The mutual objective
2. The problem
3. The team
4. Authority & expectations
5. Resources required
6. Communication
7. Deadlines

You are the delegator.  The person or people receiving the task are the delegatee.

Step #1 of 7:  The Mutual Objective

• Is the objective clearly defined, measurable, and have due dates?

• Have you helped the delegatee understand that receiving the task is not the end goal, but rather they are a steward of the responsibility, so a greater goal is achieved?

• Have you engaged the "second brain" - the heart of the delegatee so the work is meaningful to them?

• Are you reinforcing the mutual objective often?

Step #2 of 7:  The Problem

• Is everyone clear about the problem that is trying to be solved before and during the work that has been delegated? 

• Is the cost of not solving the problem clear?

• Are the benefits of solving the problem defined?

• Are the process and/or new habits to put in place to avoid the problem in the future defined, or mutually sought?

Step #3 of 7:  The Team

• Does each delegatee realistically have the time to do it well?

• Did you encourage the delegatee by explaining the reason why they were chosen?

• Have you explained how the delegatee will benefit from completing the task with excellence?

• What training do delegatees need to complete the task well?

Step #4 of 7:  Authority & Expectations

• Does the delegatee have authority that matches their responsibilities?

• Who is the team leader if there is more than one delegatee?

• Are any approval processes clear, and in-writing?

• Are behavioral expectations between you and the delegatee clear, and preferably in-writing?

Step #5 of 7:  Resources Required

• What subject matter experts or other people are available to support the delegatee?

• Where can the delegatee work and/or do they need help securing meeting locations?

• Does the delegatee have all the equipment and materials necessary to complete the task?

• Have the funding, outside services, other necessary activities been secured?

Step #6 of 7:  Communication

• Is there a clearly defined follow-up schedule when the delegatee will communicate status to you?

• Have you defined a schedule when you will touch base with the delegatee, especially if they miss their deadline to update you on the status?

• What is the schedule to inform others?

• Is the platform in place to track their progress, whether ConnectWise, SharePoint, Dropbox...?

Step #7 of 7:  Deadlines

• Are there due dates / milestones with clear deliverables?

• How are the dates being tracked?

• Are the milestones in the best order of priority?

• Have you defined what happens when a deadline is missed, and should that occur, are you prepared to ask questions, be respectful, and then act decisively?

This may seem like a lot, but once you get it in place it flows easily. Learn how to delegate effectively. Put the Systematic Power of process in place. Test, refine, improve your delegation systems. Teach them and grow.

Risking Your Comeback

One of my favorite movies is Hoosiers. The movie told a story that took place in 1951 in the rural southeast Indiana town of Hickory.  Norman Dale drove into town to replace a revered high school basketball coach who had died.   He was hired by Cletus Summers, the principal and a longtime friend, to coach the team and teach classes.

Earlier in life Dale had been a champion collegiate coach until he punched one of his players.  That got him barred from coaching college ball.  For many years he had hidden in the Navy.  Now he had been honorably discharged.

The coaching position in Hickory was a last chance for Norman Dale, who is played by Gene Hackman.

How about you?  Have you made some mistakes?

Have you made a BIG mistake?

It may surprise you, but my experience is most people have made at least one BIG mistake.

For those of us who recover and rebuild, by grace our legacy is typically not the mistake.  Instead, we are judged by how we apply what we've learned to more positively impact the lives of others.

The journey is long.  The battles can be ongoing.  At least for a time...

In Hoosiers, Coach Dale had to battle the disbelief of a teacher who was the guardian of the town's best high school basketball player, Jimmy Chitwood.  Jimmy had decided not to play due to grief over the death of the prior coach.  He refused to even speak a word to the new coach, even when Dale patiently tried to talk with him.

Coach Dale also had the burden of establishing boundaries and discipline for a basketball team of unruly high school boys.  The situation is further complicated by the fact it initially only has five players after two quit.  They didn't care to behave and show the coach respect.  A father brings one of them back, which brings the team to six players.

It was a small town.  The high school only had 161 students.  However, basketball was their passion.  A number of the men in the community felt firmly established as armchair coaches of the high school boys' basketball team. 

As Coach Dale tried to get his team in sync, they question his every thought, word, and action.

Even the student body chanted to have Jimmy Chitwood return to the team rather than cheer the players who were doing their best to represent the school.

It was Norman Dale's last chance.

If he failed, then he would never get another opportunity to coach the game he loved. 

He had the knowledge, experience, and skill to be a championship coach.  But his BIG mistake had detoured him into a tiny Indiana town that did not like him.

So what did he do?

He had the grit to stick to what he knew was right, admitted his mistake of the past when it came up, and kept pushing forward day by day.  He invested his life in the boys on that team.

If the story stopped there, it would be logical.  However it did not.

Hoosiers lets you see the humility of a tough warrior.  Without saying it specifically, Norman Dale was thankful for the grace his friend, Cletus, had shown him.  He extends grace to others.  You can see it by how he treats others.  He decided that someone needed to help a man who had fallen into the deep pit of alcohol.

The opportunity comes about when Cletus, acting as an assistant coach, had chest pains after an angry Coach Dale got ejected from another of their early season games. 

Dale needed a replacement assistant coach.  He decided to invite knowledgeable local former star basketball player Wilbur "Shooter" Flatch.  Shooter was the father of one of the players, Everett.  He was also the town drunk.  Even Everett was disgusted with him and would have nothing to do with his father.

Coach Dale put boundaries on Shooter, just like he did with the boys, although different.  Shooter had to be sober, on time, and dressed in a suit to coach with him.

Yet the team still struggled.

Coach Dale bet it all.  He was teaching the young men basketball.  More than that, he taught them integrity, reminded them of the value of hard work, and tried to give a hand up to a man who was in a deeper pit than himself.

Yet all appeared lost.  He started to lose his grip on the opportunity.

After just a few games the armchair coaches of the town called an emergency meeting to vote on whether Dale should be dismissed.  It looked bleak, but the coach held his ground.  He said he was proud of the boys on the team and he would not change anything he had done.

As the vote was being counted Jimmy walked in and announced he figures it's time for him to start playing ball.  The crowd erupted in cheers.  However, Jimmy had one boundary:  He would play only if Coach Dale stayed.  If the coach left, then he would not play.

Coach Dale won the vote.

Remember the importance of boundaries.

Did the team start winning?  Did Shooter stay sober?  Did Shooter and his son reconcile?  What happened to the other relationships in town?

You have to watch the movie.

I SUGGEST 3 LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES

First, a hero cannot do everything or save everyone. 

Are you trying to do too much today?

Second, our lives are blessed when we extend the grace we have received to others. 

Sometimes it is our turn to help.  A kind word.  A listening ear.  A smile.  Sometimes more.

Choose carefully. Once you choose help someone or a cause, then set boundaries.  Hold tight.  Stay true to the grace you are extending and the boundaries you establish.

The person you try to help may not make it all the way up on to their feet.  Your role may be just to get them out of the pit.

Consider the risk to your opportunity, your life, and the people depending on you.  Gamble only what you are willing to lose.

Norman Dale was willing to lose it all because he believed he was doing the right thing.

There is the story I heard years ago of a well-off couple who went on a mission trip.  They were so touched by the needs of the people that they gave, and gave, and gave... until they had no more.  But it wasn't enough.  The poor were still poor, but now the couple had joined them in poverty.

It is rare that is the best decision.

Good intentions cannot be the only criteria behind your decision to risk what you have to help others.  Balance your heart with sincere consideration of how a loss would affect people who depend on you, such as your family or employees.

Grace can be extended in small doses and still improve the lives of others. 

Practice grace with boundaries.

Third, last week I encouraged you to embrace 2017 as your comeback year.  This begs the question:  What's the one thing you will do this year that will make everything else easier?

You cannot be a hero to everyone or do everything.

However, there is one thing you can do, and do with excellence!

Identify that one thing and do something.  You will be glad you did.

Start with humility and grace.

If you have the time, watch the movie Hoosiers.

It's a fun story.  Unfortunately it is not true.  The real story of a small Indiana town's high school basketball team actually has some special gems of its own.  Click here to learn what really happened.

Uniters Wash Their Hands

Let me paraphrase an old teaching.  Then I can apply it specifically to leadership:

Wash your hands, you fools, and purify your hearts, you leaders with double standards...

The phrase, “wash your hands,” jumped off the page at me late last week.  I had to pause and let it sink in.

When faced with “dirty hands” – a problem - “Bad Bosses” too often procrastinate, avoid the issue, blame someone else, and/or take shortcuts.

UNITERS must make a different choice, and develop better habits.

Everyone can be a leader who seeks to UNITE people.  However, this requires us to “wash our hands” by ethically engaging our team to resolve problems in ways that make the issue unlikely to return.

Working with and/or directing others to resolve problems is more short-term work, but less long-term pain. My theme this month is being a UNITER, not a Divider.

Which type of person, or leader, are you? The first takes intentional effort.  The latter comes naturally to everyone in varying degrees.

Washing hands is not my problem.  (My Dad was a cleanliness freak and a great guy.) Wash your hands, you fools, and purify your hearts, you leaders with double standards...

The next command, however, is deeper.  Purify your heart is an ongoing issue because I am not flawless.  My thoughts are not always the best.  I make mistakes.

I am struck by the need to first “purify” our hearts rather than judge others.  When we do not hold ourselves accountable first, then we typically go straight to double standards.  That is not a UNITER discipline.

For instance, remember that person who was… Racing up the freeway and following your car so close that they were almost in your back seat?  Why was that jerk in such a hurry?  It was stressful and made you mad.

BUT, what about your behavior days before that when you were in a hurry driving?

Remember that person who was…  late delivering on their commitment to get you something?  That really messes you up!  How could they do that?  Don’t they have any integrity?

BUT, what about the deadline you missed recently, asked for an extension, and got it?  (Was that from the same person?)

Remember that boss, other employee, peer who is not treating you the way you want.  It can hurt your feelings, or maybe even make you mad.  Why do they have to be such a jerk?  Or so lazy?  Or whatever…?

BUT, what about when your tone of voice recently was sharp, condescending, or otherwise unpleasant?  When did you last say something negative about someone else in your workplace, and/or fail to compliment someone?

Your lack of appreciation triggered natural reciprocity.  This is the natural tendency to match someone else’s behavior.  (We teach this in our Workplace Drama course of Dave’s Charm School.)

This is just three examples.  I bet you have more.

Wash your hands, you fools, and purify your hearts, you leaders with double standards...

What could this ancient exhortation mean for leaders today? I suggest one application is the following: Commit to be a humble person of integrity who is a consistent role model for your company values and standards.  This is a UNITER.

Here are 7 steps to “wash your hands:”

1.  Submit

When making decisions, discern if the true sense of your heart, emotions you feel, the words you will speak, and the actions you will take, fully demonstrate your company values and standards.  Submit your desires to, and unite others through the higher purpose of your organization.

2.  Resist

Know the triggers to your bad habits.  Do not be tempted into emotion or shortcuts.  Recognize when something motivates you to react in a selfish way.  Stop.  Breathe.  Respond by choosing a healthier path.  Resist the reaction.  Choose the higher ground.  Unite by intentionally responding, not instinctively reacting.

3.  Accept

Take full responsibility for your portion of mistakes.  (Don't accept blame on behalf of others.)  Work to develop new, more powerful habits to avoid those mistakes in the future.  Accept your part in the problem, at times without requiring others to do the same.  Unite by reconciling with a positive spirit.

4.  Apologize

Don't be afraid to express sincere sorrow for your mistakes.  Remove the burden of guilt from your heart...  and your legacy.  Apologize respectfully so you can move forward with greater freedom.  Unite by building bridges.

5.  Be humble

Avoid double standards.  Hold yourself accountable to your company values and standards first.  Do it even when others are not.  Consider the life wounds of the other party, the facts, and the solution more than the comparatively brief impact of the problem or the pain of their disrespect.  Unite with humility.

6.  Encourage

Enforce and/or encourage accountability with employees / coworkers.  Do this by reminding people of your company values, standards, and the expectations of others.  Remind yourself and others that, "This is the way we behave in our family."  Ask questions and be open to ideas with integrity.  Be firm on what boundaries cannot be crossed.  Unite with encouragement and your example.

7. Be Thankful

Express sincere gratitude for your blessings and what you want to encourage in others.  It may be something small.  Do not let a person's mistakes block their positive traits from your consideration.  Unite with sincere gratitude.

Wash your hands often.  It removes possible disease.  It also is a visual reminder of a higher calling to cleanse ourselves of our weaknesses first, develop the strengths of others second, and always be actively uniting our people in meaningful work.

Blind Commitment

Good intentions do not always make good law, policy, or even words or actions. Sometimes good intentions can lead to bad decisions, like going down a roller coaster without being fully secured in your seat.

Example: Airbnb is demanding their hosts and renters give up their First Amendment rights, or be dropped from membership.

On Saturday, October 29, 2016 at 8:37 a.m. PST, I received the following email from Airbnb.

The Airbnb Community Commitment

Earlier this year, we launched a comprehensive effort to fight bias and discrimination in the Airbnb community. As a result of this effort, we’re asking everyone to agree to a Community Commitment beginning November 1, 2016. Agreeing to this commitment will affect your use of Airbnb, so we wanted to give you a heads up about it.

What is the Community Commitment?

You commit to treat everyone—regardless of race, religion, national origin, ethnicity, disability, sex, gender identity, sexual orientation or age—with respect, and without judgment or bias.

How do I accept the commitment?

On or after November 1, we’ll show you the commitment when you log in to or open the Airbnb website, mobile or tablet app and we’ll automatically ask you to accept.

What if I decline the commitment?

If you decline the commitment, you won’t be able to host or book using Airbnb, and you have the option to cancel your account. Once your account is canceled, future booked trips will be canceled. You will still be able to browse Airbnb but you won’t be able to book any reservations or host any guests.

What if I have feedback about the commitment?

We welcome your feedback about the Community Commitment and all of our nondiscrimination efforts. Feel free to read more about the commitment. You can also reach out to us at allbelong@airbnb.com.

The Airbnb Team

Sent with ♥ from Airbnb

WHAT DID I DO?

Here was my reply via email to Airbnb on Sunday, October 30 at 12:15 pm:

Dear Airbnb,

I fully support your desire for people to “respect” one another.  However, your demand that all hosts and renters “…treat everyone… without judgment or bias” is illogical, unreasonable, and unrealistic.  It also violates America’s First Amendment free speech rights.

1. Your Commitment requires your hosts and renters to lie, or lose their right to participate in your network.  Everyone who signs your commitment is lying.  It is so sad to see you strong-arming your community. The fact is hosts and people booking rooms ALWAYS are judging the hosts or environment they are renting.  No one accepts a person into their home, or purposefully rents a room/home from someone who makes them uncomfortable.Our heritage and beliefs spill over into our lifestyles, and we ALL make choices – including EVERYONE AT AIRBNB.(“Choices” are a form of “judgment” with “bias” to what we like. Choices are not necessarily prejudice.)
2. I did not join Airbnb to be part of a political movement.  I find it offensive that you want to force your beliefs on me, and especially in a way that is false.  Your broad statements are impossible for anyone to truly live out. I will drop from your network if this Commitment program is enacted as it is today.Unlike many of your members, I will not sacrifice my integrity to bow down to your demands.  There are plenty of other businesses and networks where I can reserve a room without having to submit to your prejudices.
3. Please note:  I work and have friendships with people that meet all of your criteria.  We have people of other races in our family.  I am loving and respectful with all of them.
4. Your Commitment requirement reminds me of Nazi Germany, not the idealistic standard you purport it to be.  I hope it is well-intentioned, but the way it is currently written is arrogant, shocking, and disappointing. Part of the closing comments of your email states: “We welcome your feedback about the Community Commitment and all of our nondiscrimination efforts.”  I don’t expect you to agree with me.  Your Commitment verbiage indicates you will not be respectful of my thoughts.  Either I kowtow to your demands, or I’m out. Can’t you see the judgment and bias in your own Commitment requirement?  I hope you choose to edit your Commitment standard to only have the word “respect” in it.  Please do not require people to lie.  Drop the words “judgment” and “bias.”

FOOTNOTE: Please be leaders who bring people together in work that is both collectively and individually meaningful. Be careful to avoid Airbnb’s mistake. Never divide people based on a lie, even if your intentions are good. Only demand a standard when it is necessary, and your standards are based on truth.

In reality, Airbnb could have achieved its sincere objective with the word “respect.”

Stuart Crawford and the power of company culture

Yesterday I talked with Stuart Crawford (@Ulistic) about the power of company culture. Stuart is the CEO of Ulistic, a company that provides marketing and consulting services to managed services providers.

More money is lost in the I.T. services industry from poor company culture than any other reason. From my experience with helping leaders of these organizations, it is absolutely crucial to have a positive, productive company culture.

Consider what we have to say based on a combined 59 years of experience in the industry. I think you will be challenged by this conversation.

Your Soft Skills Are WEAK, with Rex Frank of Sea Level Ops

Recently I spoke with Rex Frank, President of Sea Level Operations, discuss how important soft skills are for the success of your business.

After 3 years, he's back...

Consider these three things today:

#1

Are you debating whether to promote an existing employee or hire someone from the outside (a new employee)?  Consider my column released today at Continuum's site:

3 Major Pitfalls & Profits When Promoting from Within 

#2

In 2013, Rex Frank of Sea Level Ops gave one of the most insightful talks in the managed services industry during a MANAGEtoWIN webinar - The Top 5 MSP Operational Mistakes.  Last week I invited him to share his wisdom again.  So, after 3 years, Rex is back with information you need to know...

REGISTER NOW for Rex's new webinar at 1:00 PM PST on Wednesday, Sept 7, 2016:  

Sea-Level's 4 Levers of Service Margin

This is a MUST-ATTEND webinar from Sea Level Ops and MANAGEtoWIN.  I invited Rex Frank to share these insights because they are critical to the success of any MSP.

Service Delivery is all about Service Gross Margin.  There are 4 factors that you manage that dictate the margin your company produces.  Each of these levers relate to each other, if you move one lever without moving the others, your margin will be affected (good or bad, usually bad).

1. Billing Rate
2. Salary
3. Billing Utilization
4. Agreement Efficiency

This webinar shares specifically the relationship of each lever and their ultimate effect on Service Gross Margin.  Don't miss it.

#3

Rex and I were talking about his webinar.  We agreed that you can have the greatest plan in place to improve margins and it can fail.

Why?

Because your employees do not know how to behave like professionals.  This makes Clients upset, less loyal, and a flight risk.

Therefore, Rex and I are returning two weeks later to explain how to develop your people into a magnet for Client retention and profitability. 

REGISTER NOW for our second webinar at 11:00 AM PST on Tuesday, September 20, 2016:  

Your People's Soft Skills Are WEAK - and what you can do about it.

The primary cause of customer complaints and employee issues is not technical skills.  When your people perform poorly, it is because they lack soft skills.  And it is killing your company's profitability.

According to Salesforce.com, 77% of employers say soft skills are just as important as hard (technical) skills.  

Soft skills training is an ongoing process, not a one-time event.  It involves knowledge transfer, habit development, and accountability.  It is not only crucial to attain high profitability, but important for new employee recruitment, sales prospecting, and client retention.

In this webinar you will learn the 14 key soft skills that should be trained, the process of employee development of these crucial skills, and what you have to do as a leader to make certain your people's soft skills are competitive, effective, and sincere.  Avoid creating unhappy clients.

Don't miss this webinar to learn how better soft skills can help your organization grow more rapidly... and profitably!

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During this Summer of Discontent, why not start working on your company culture and/or develop your leadership skills? If you have some gaps with your people, leadership systems, and/or culture, then reach out to us!

We can have a conversation about what's going on in your life.  No cost.  No meter will be ticking.  We just have a conversation focused on your hurdles, and how to get over them.

Of character, or a character?

Are you a person of character, or are you a character? The first is good. The second is inconsistent with great leadership.

Last week I gave you a character test to encourage you to consider the attributes of a leader with good character. Two weeks ago I encouraged you to reflect on this conclusion from my life's journey, written in a way that mimics a statement from the movie, Monsters University:

Good character 

is the true measure of a leader.

If you're not someone of good character, 

then what type of leader are you?

Do you have a person in your organization who could demonstrate better character? Or do a lot of people in your organization who need a character makeover?

Is one of those people who need to more consistently demonstrate good character the person staring back at you in the mirror this morning?

At MANAGEtoWIN, we believe character counts.  It is so important that I wrote an entire course on it in Dave's Charm School, our soft skills training program.

Today I promised to provide ways for you and your team to develop good character.  First, let's define what good character is:

• Dictionary.com:  #1 - The aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing.
• Related to personality, but personality is primarily inborn
• An aggregate of all behaviors, not just one
• Based on our virtues, beliefs and values
• Good character is intentional (a choice)
• Good character requires us to make difficult choices
• All Character is learned

The good news is the final point:  All character is learned.  Therefore anyone who wants to improve themselves, can develop better habits of good character.  (You have to want to change.)

Here are 7 ways for anyone to develop better habits of good character.  The goal is for integrity to be an easier choice than a shortcut or other bad decision.

#1 - Others

Everyone's character habits are consciously and subconsciously developed based on the behaviors of the people with whom you work, and spend time with personally.

LESSON:  Only work and hang out with people of good character.

#2 - Role Model

A leader has to be a role model for good character at all times, not just some of the time.  There cannot be any double standards, one for other people and another for the leader.  For example, there cannot be laws that a common citizen has to follow, but a rich person or a politician can break.

LESSON:  Lead intentionally.  Work diligently to demonstrate good character in every word you speak and action you take.

#3 - Baseline

Take 30 minutes to one hour to assess the facts about the character you have demonstrated in 2016 through your words and actions.  Do a simple "Ben Franklin" list.  Title the left column, "Poor," in the right column, "Good."  List words or actions where you have demonstrated poor character in the left column, and the ones that demonstrated your good character in the right column.

LESSON:  Now you have a baseline for where your character is today.  Develop a simple plan to improve your character based on these weaknesses and strengths.  Start by doing one simple thing differently today.

#4 - Serve

People of good character are humble.  Identify one leader who consistently demonstrates good character.  (They are not flawless, but they are a person of integrity, who is sincere, and humble.)  You may not even know them.  Find a way to sincerely serve that person and their cause.  This will help you learn from them, and possibly develop a friendship based on mutual interests.

LESSON:  Sincerely serving develops character.

#5 - Pause

Often words and actions of poor character occur quickly based on fear.  Pause to think about what you are going to say or do before responding or taking action.  Consider how others would respond to your behavior if it was reported on the front page of your local newspaper tomorrow morning.  Consider what your spouse, best friend, and/or advisors would say if they witnessed what you are about to do.

LESSON:  Pause to consider the character you are about to demonstrate before speaking or taking action.  At all times leaders must be role models.  A pause or longer delay is often reasonable to more fully consider the ramifications of your behavior.

#6 - Judgment

Spend very little time judging the character of others.  Focus on developing and sustaining your own integrity.  This will help you avoid bad decisions, unethical people, and risky decisions.  Self-accountability that balances positive reinforcement of your good decisions with encouragement to improve when mistakes are made increases your awareness of situations that put your character at risk.

LESSON:  Judgmental people are poor role models.  People of good character are inspiring and set encouraging standards for others to join.  Strengthening your own character has a much higher ROI than spending excessive time negatively judging others.

#7 - Accountability

There are many ways to hold yourself accountable to demonstrating good character more consistently.  Here's a simple list of five attributes of good character you can use as a test before responding verbally or taking action to situation:

Humility - is my behavior humble?

Integrity - is my decision moral?

Energy - do my actions increase the energy of others?

Inspiration - do I inspire others to achieve more?

Wisdom - will my decisions seem wise in the future?

LESSON:  Focus on holding yourself accountable to demonstrating good character, and as much as possible, limiting work and personal relationships to people of integrity.  This significantly improves your ability to be a role model of good character, and leave a legacy that is personally fulfilling.

Do you find it ironic that I am discussing character amidst the American presidential political season?  This is totally by coincidence.  However soon I may discuss how good leaders should respond to the character of The Donald and Queen Hillary.

As we close out the seventh month of 2016, I sincerely hope you are having a great year.

Take the Character Test

From last week:

Good character is the true measure of a leader.

If you're not someone of good character, then what type of leader are you?

Last week I encouraged you to agree that everything we do starts with our character.  No one is perfect, but when we have significant flaws in our character then everything else suffers.

Jim Collins concluded humility was the primary common trait of truly GREAT leaders.  This supports my conclusion about the importance of character:  The only way a person can be sincerely humble is when they consistently demonstrate good character.

I did a web search on character traits.  One site is "all about character," offering 50 different character traits.  Yet none of them were honesty or integrity.  How can you have good character without integrity?  Scary...

Lots of opinions out there.  Lots of long lists.  I suggest we focus on 7 attributes of good character.  When we get these right, the rest should take care of themselves.  Without these behaviors as our strengths, other attributes of character fall apart.

Here is a quick self-test of character for anyone in a leadership role.  In some ways these build upon one another.

Consider your strengths, and build on them.  Identify areas to improve, and work diligently to develop new habits to overcome your bad ones (that never go away completely).

#1 - Faith

Everyone has a spiritual faith, even an atheist.  How consistently do you live out what you believe?

#2 - Truth

People define what they believe to be true based on their spiritual beliefs.  There are facts, logic, and absolute truths, but you have to decide which ones you want to believe.  There are a growing number of false truths promoted online and in people's opinions.  How do you define truth, and live by it?

#3 - Integrity

Your definition of integrity or honesty hinges on your belief in truth.  If you feel truth is relative, or only important when it agrees with what you want to do - then your honesty will be selective - honest when you want to be, or based on what you want to believe or do, rather than unemotional facts or logic.  

Were you 100% honest in all of your communications today?  This week?  This month?

#4 Relationships

Your ability to love others depends on how you process information through your faith, truth, and integrity filters.  At the end of your life you only have two assets:  Your legacy (impact on others) and relationships (vulnerability with others).  These depend on your character. 

Do you have close friends and business relationships, or are you "relationship-lite," where virtually no one really knows you?  You can be a person of good character who is a loner, but having deep relationships makes life richer.  What can you do to develop or extend deeper friendships?

#5 - Candor

The power of candor hinges on your integrity and relational skills, among other behavioral attributes.  Candor is how much information you are willing to share with another person.  Ideally you achieve close to a "Goldilocks rating" on your candor - you do not share too much, or too little.  You share just enough.  How are you doing?

#6 - Decisions

You make decisions based on the five prior attributes of character.  Good decisions come from a place of knowing who you are, who you serve, and a healthy fear of making a mistake. 

Once again, you strive for a Goldilocks' balance between a sense of urgency that a decision must be made, and your process to fully consider all the data and counsel before accepting the risks of the decision.  Do you make decisions too quickly, or too slowly?  How can you develop habits of more balanced decision-making?

#7 - Grateful

People of good character are thankful.  Be sincerely grateful for what you have, instead of complaining about what is missing in your life.  This way you will overcome life's difficulties more easily.  How can you be more grateful throughout each day?

Yes, I am stopping here.  We can consider and/or debate dozens of more character traits, however when you focus on these seven most of the others will take care of themselves. 

Character checking can be a daily exercise, if not multiple times during the day as you make decisions, communicate with others, and take action. 

Intentions do not count.

RECOMMENDATION:  Evaluate your character based on every sense of your heart, every emotion you feel, every word you speak, and every action you take. 

You are NOT defined by your worst moments. You are also NOT defined by your best moments.  It is more of an accumulated score over time without a requirement to be flawless. 

Your character in a particular situation may be less than you desire.  Slowing down to consider whether you are meeting or exceeding your own character standards can be life changing.  However, you have to be strong enough to make the difficult decision NOT to do something that is below your standards.

Here is what you should do to be a fully engaged leader

Last week I suggested you assess your leadership habits against the low standards of an Arrogant Spaced-Out Boss.

This begs the question, "Well then, what is an example of a leader who is fully engaged in developing themselves and their company culture?"

I do not believe leadership models are set in concrete.  Everyone is different.  Nevertheless the following can be a guideline for you to consider how to better apply yourself in a leadership role:

#1 - Sanctuary

Schedule a recurring event in Outlook or your other calendar program to spend at least 30 minutes weekly in self-accountability. 

Consider this baseball metaphor when planning to set aside this time.  You are competing to win.  The team fighting against you are your bad habits, broken systems, and people. 

The name of the opposing team is the Interruptions.  You need to stop their offensive threat (get three "outs" to retire their side so you can return to offense).

Schedule Out:  Enter your Sanctuary time in your calendar.  Make certain others know this is a time when you are not to be interrupted. 

Shut Out:  Close your office door.  Put a sign on the door that you are in Sanctuary time, or some of our clients like to call it Stealth Mode:  You may be in the office, and continue to be highly dangerous, but for a period of time you need to be invisible.

Tech Out:  Turn-off email, instant messenger, do not answer your desk phone or mobile phone, and respond only to emergency texts. 

Why is this important?  According to www.ScienceDirect.com...

You have an

Average of 87 interruptions per day

22 external interruptions

65 triggered by you

It typically takes over 23 minutes to get back on task

18% percent of your interrupted tasks are not revisited that day

Here is a simple Sanctuary agenda:

• How did I do on last week's W.I.N.? What's Important Now - My 1-3 most important objectives for the prior week.
• Where am I on my goals this year? Am I on track?  What action is needed?
• What is my W.I.N. for this upcoming week? Schedule time during Monday-Wednesday to complete these activities in your calendar.  Why early in the week?  So when you have to fight fires you have time to catch-up on Thursday-Friday and still advance your objectives.
• Who am I responsible for, and how are they doing? Follow a similar 3-step process for your direct reports that you did for yourself above.

#2 - Leadership

Schedule a 1-2 hour investment of your time weekly to develop your leadership skills, knowledge and/or habits. Develop your soft skills. Carefully plan your calendar. Confirm you are maintaining a balance within your work responsibilities. Confirm you are balancing your career and personal life. Consider major decisions.

This time is a priority.  Schedule this work during Monday-Wednesday.

The best leaders invest in developing themselves weekly.  It is an ongoing process.  The excuses of being too busy, no options, or whatever, are bogus.  The excuses are all lies we tell ourselves so we can stay in our comfort zone. Get out of your comfort zone!

Training and professional development have one of the highest ROI's of any business expenditure.  You have to set the example by first investing in yourself.

#3 - Culture

If you do not invest in your culture, then who will? If you do not make culture a priority, then why should anyone else? 

Leaders are role models.  You have to set the standard through your behavior, not just talk a good game of leadership and company culture. Demonstrate good character by first being the leader and company culture example you want others to be.

Schedule a 1-2 hour investment of your time weekly to develop your company's culture.  Here are two quick ideas:

• Ask everyone in a weekly or monthly team meeting to explain how they lived out one of your company culture cornerstones (mission, values, vision).  Focusing on this is good for the individual, and hearing how others have lived them out is also inspirational.
• Work on a project that strengthens an aspect of your 3strands LEADERSHIP.  For instance, improve the efficiency of 1:1 or team meeting schedules;  spend time individually with employees to confirm they are doing meaningful work in your organization;  and/or improve or implement your recognition program.

This time is a priority.  Schedule this work during Monday-Wednesday.

Sanctuary + Leadership + Culture = Growth

It takes 90 days or longer to develop new habits, but first you have to define what you want to change.  Then schedule the activities to bring about the improvement in your leadership and company culture.

Do this on your own.  Do it together with a peer or a mentor.  Do it with a coach like me.

This will be one of the best decisions you ever make in your career. If you want my help 1:1, or you want to reward a manager with training on becoming a better leader, then consider our next Certified LEADER class that starts the week of July 11.

Clone your best people

First I will share some exciting news.  Next, I will give you a couple of freebies if you want to try it out. 

Ask yourself these questions:

Have you ever wanted to clone a great employee?  (I regularly work with clients to do this successfully.)

Have you ever wished you could get new insights about how to improve the productivity of one or more employees?  (We do this every week with our Clients.)

Have you ever wanted to help to employees stop being in conflict so often?  (There is a way to better understand each individual so this objective is achieved.)

ANNOUNCEMENT:  We now can provide our Clients with side-by-side comparisons of people whom have had taken our MANAGEtoWIN Talent Assessments.  (We cannot compare people based on reports you have done with other providers.)

For the month of April 2016, we will give you up to five comparisons per Client absolutely free.  Click here to email us the names of employees whom you would like to compare.  Send us up to five combinations of two people for free.  Order additional comparisons here.

Click here to see a sample Comparison Report.  It's really cool.

Here are a few sample screens of what the report looks like:

Consider how this helps two employees consider the differences in their communication styles, and then adapt to each other's style to improve their working relationship.

Consider how this helps two employees better comprehend the differences in their behavioral styles so they can focus on work that best aligns with their strengths.

Consider how this comparison helps each individual better understand what motivates the other person, and then relate to this as they work together to achieve results.

 Here are two free offers that are irresistible:

#1:  If you have used MANAGEtoWIN Talent Assessments, then you can compare up to five pairs of two employees, or employees and job candidates, at no charge through April 30.  Email us to place your request, listing up to five pairs of names.  After that, the cost for each comparison is $29 (order here).

#2:  We offer our MANAGEtoWIN Talent assessments in two versions: 

NOTE:  Our regular Clients do receive a discount, and you will too starting with your second order.  Just ask!

(1) Our standard Talent Assessment includes behaviors (DISC) and motivators/driving forces (PIAV).  We believe the combination of these two aspects of a person's capabilities on the job are crucial.  DISC alone is misleading.  

The retail price for our standard Talent Assessment reports, including a written or verbal discussion of the results and hiring recommendation is $219 each.  You can order a General or Sales version.  You can add a Summary (see example) for an additional $50 (order here). 

(2) The second report we offer is the MANAGEtoWIN TriMetrix DNA (General or a version for Sales people) Talent Assessments, which does an amazing job of blending a person's behaviors (DISC), motivators/driving forces (PIAV), and competencies or skills.  I go into greater

The retail price for our TriMetrix DNA reports, including a written or verbal discussion of the results and hiring recommendation is $299 each.  You can order a General or Sales version.  You can add a Summary (see example) for an additional $50 (order here).

Here are some ways to use these comparison reports:

1. Promotion:  Compare a junior employee with a senior employee to consider whether the junior person can be developed into a more senior position.
2. Cloning:  Compare a job candidate with a top performing employee in that role to consider where they are alike, how they differ, and whether the results indicate the job candidate can be successful in the position.
3. Conflict:  You have two employees who are not working productively together, or are in conflict.  Compare the two to help them understand how to work more effectively and/or get along better.
4. Mentoring:  Mentors are not bosses.  They are other seasoned people inside or outside your company.  Have the mentor and mentee discuss their comparison report as part of their orientation meeting and apply it as they move forward on their journey of growth.
5. Adaptation:  To help any employee better understand how to adapt their behaviors so they work more effectively with another employee;  they understand what motivates the other person;  and they do their best to focus the other person on work aligned with their greatest skills.
6. Performance:  Between a leader and an under-performing employee so the individual's performance improvement plan has the greatest possible opportunity for success.
7. Teams:  As part of a team-building session to give each individual greater depth of understanding of how to work effectively with the other members of their unit. 

The MANAGEtoWIN TriMetrix DNA assessment reinforces the power of our proprietary 3strands LEADERSHIP principles because all three work together to achieve more than any individual aspect of leadership can on its own. 

The MANAGEtoWIN TriMetrix DNA report provides you crucial insights in the following areas:

Behaviors

Behavioral research suggests that the most effective people are those who understand themselves, both their strengths and weaknesses, so they can develop strategies to meet the demands of their environment.  This report measures the four dimensions of normal behavior:  dominance, influence, steadiness and compliance.

Our TriMetrix DNA report tells you how this individual will perform.

Motivators / Driving Forces

Knowledge of an individual's motivators help to tell us why they do things.  The Personal Motivation & Engagement report measures the relative prominence of six basic interests or motivators (a way of valuing life):  Theoretical, Utilitarian, Aesthetic, Social, Individualistic and Traditional.

Our TriMetrix DNA report illuminates why this individual acts the way he or she does.

Competencies

An individual's hierarchy of competencies is key to their success, and knowing what they are is essential to reaching their goals.  This report is designed to assist managing and developing a career.  For many jobs, personal skills are as important as technical skills in producing superior performance.

Our TriMetrix DNA report describes what this individual "has done" in 23 research-based capacities related to the business environment.

Comparing yourself to another person to feel superior to them is unproductive. However, comparing two people to sincerely help them be their best and improve working relationships is wonderful.

We offer you an opportunity to compare people for free.  I hope you give it a try.  You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.  Let me know if you have any questions.

Have an awesome week!

One reason your culture is weak

You design.  You build.  You maintain.  Virtually everything you do to own a home relates to one of these activities.

Your company culture is similar.  You have a design, or inspiration.  You build, or define it.  Then you maintain it so your culture can inspire and manage the growth of your organization.

But you may have a problem, or many problems.

1. Your company culture is NOT clearly defined.
2. You have a mission statement, which is WHY you are in business;  a vision statement which is WHERE you are growing or growing as an organization;  and a set of values, which is HOW you do business...  but nobody, including yourself remembers what they are.

How can you make decisions based on your mission, vision, and values when you do not know them?  If you as a leader in your organization are not making decisions based on these company culture cornerstones, then how can you expect your employees to do so?

The strategic problem is typically your mission, vision and values:

• Do not exist
• Are too vague
• Are too long
• Are too generic

How many cornerstones are required to properly construct a building? Four.

How many company culture cornerstones do you have in your organization after you have defined your mission, vision, and values? Three.

What are you missing? Another strategic problem you have is your company is missing the fourth cornerstone, which is the most important of all:  Accountability. 

Your company culture cannot be consistent with out this critical fourth cornerstone of accountability.  This is true even if you have the most inspiring mission, vision and/or values.

The concept of four company culture cornerstones is something I developed back in 2003.

The key tactical issues you have are that:

1. You are not a role model for your company culture.
2. When explaining a decision, you do not relate your answer to your company culture cornerstones.
3. When asked for a decision, you do not ask the person what they think the decision should be based on your company culture cornerstones.
4. During your monthly team meetings, you do not require each individual to explain at least one instance of how they have demonstrated your company culture cornerstones.
5. You do not provide written feedback on how well each employee is demonstrating your company culture cornerstones in your annual performance reviews.

Every month I am working with our Clients to define unique company culture cornerstones that reinforce their core beliefs, and engage each employee individually to do their best.

Over the past 10 years, internally we have streamlined our values from 10 values, to seven values, to what we have now, which is four values.  We have done a major change to our mission and vision once.

Here is where we are today.  I work very hard to try to confirm every decision I make is based on these company culture cornerstones.  I encourage my people to do the same.

MISSION

No "Bad Bosses"

VISION

We are the best leadership investment our Clients ever make.

VALUES

Systematic Power

We achieve clear, measurable goals with fanatic discipline.

We pilot ideas with empirical creativity. 

We constantly plan for the future with productive paranoia. 

We follow-up and follow-through.

We grow without debt.

Meaningful Work

We work for the glory of God and/or a cause greater than ourselves. 

We do work that is personally fulfilling.

We make decisions based on facts rather than emotions.

We treat everyone with honor, respect and dignity.

We always leave something better than it was before.

Sincere Gratitude

We are thankful for what we have. 

We regularly remind each team member why we value them in ways they prefer. 

We balance our personal and professional lives. 

We are humble. 

We have fun. 

Good Character

We always act and speak honesty.

We produce excellence, not "good" or "above average."

We say "no" or "not yet" to stay focused.

We demonstrate tenacity rather than persistence.

We "practice what we preach."

Our new values are short, concise, and easy to memorize.  I know our top level values, plus our mission and vision by heart.  Have you memorized yours?  How many different answers would you get if your people were asked to explain the core values of your organization?

If you want a stronger company culture, then start with the cornerstones of your organization.  Cultures win when competing to hire top talent or win new business.  Your culture is the only aspect of your organization that cannot be copied or stolen.  Make it a priority before it's too late.

Stealing or not? The nuances of integrity

It was the evening of February 13, Valentine's Day Eve.  A friend of mine drove to Safeway to purchase four Valentine's Day cards and Starbucks gift cards.  The total cost was about $60.

Because my friend also purchased some produce, they put the gift and greeting cards in the child's seat area of the shopping cart.  However, when loading everything into their car they forgot the gift and greeting cards.

$60 gone.  Major bummer.  They called the store the next day and asked if anything had been turned in.  Nope, nothing. Don't worry, I'll relate this anecdote to your business. Just a few thoughts:

Based on the evidence there is only one high probability scenario that could have occurred:

1. The wind blew so hard that the greeting and gift cards blew from the cart and were discarded as litter.  (Low probability)
2. Someone found the greeting and gift cards in the cart, and thought it was a store promotion.  They felt the love of Valentine's and kept them for themselves.  (Low probability, except in the Land of the Tiny Brained Folk)
3. Someone found the greeting and gift cards in the cart, and turn them in to the Lost and Found at the store.  A store employee kept them for themselves.  (Low-medium probability)
4. Someone found the greeting and gift cards in the cart, and kept them for themselves.  (High probability)

Therefore the odds are high that someone found the greeting and gift cards in the cart, and said something like, "Score!"  Then they kept the bounty for themselves.  Finders keepers, losers weepers, right?  Or, "If they are so stupid as to leave them in the cart, then it's their tough luck."  Or some other judgment of their foolishness to justify retaining the prize for themselves.  Another option is a store employee took them, which is clearly stealing.

Let's assume it was a random stranger, were they stealing by keeping these $60 worth of stuff for themselves? Stay with me now.

Let's flip it around.  Say you are the person who left a cart with $60 worth of stuff in it.  Someone found it, perhaps a stranger, or maybe a store employee. 

What do you want the person who finds it to do with your stuff?

If they do not turn it into the Lost and Found at the store, then are they stealing from you? Just for fun, pose these scenarios to others and see how they respond.

Based on my life experience, here are the options for someone with integrity:

1. If you keep something that does not belong to you without trying to find its rightful owner, then I was raised to believe that is stealing.  Another way to look at it is based on The Golden Rule, where we ALWAYS treat others the way we want to be treated.
2. You take the $60 worth of stuff you found and bring it into the store.  You ask for a store manager and explain the situation.  My expectation is there is a possibility they can track who purchased it if the customer is a member of the Safeway Club.  You leave the merchandise there and wish them a Happy Valentine's Day.  You trust Safeway employees to be honest.

Let me tell you a story from decades ago that taught me a different perspective should I be faced with this type of scenario, which I have been at times.

My grandfather on my mother's side, Chester MacPhee (Grandpa), took the entire family to Hawaii one-year.  All told there were about 30 of us.  One of the places we stayed was the Mauna Kea Resort on the big Island of Hawaii.  During our stay one of my young adult cousins found a diamond ring in the sand while sunbathing on the beach.

She asked Grandpa what to do about it.  My grandfather had served for 12 years on the San Francisco Board of Supervisors and been in charge of customs for the federal government in the San Francisco Bay Area.  His perspective on things that were lost and then found was interesting.

Particularly due to the value of the diamond ring, he advised my cousin to notify the hotel that she had found a diamond ring on the beach, but not give them the ring.  She left her contact information and informed them that anyone who had lost a diamond ring on the beach prior to our stay may contact her.  If they could correctly describe the ring, then she would give it to them.

Why take this approach?

Grandpa's experience was that employees and other people with access to a Lost and Found take items for themselves.  Sometimes this is immediately, and in other instances it is after a reasonable period of time has passed.  Either way, his opinion was the person who found the lost item should have the first opportunity to own it if it is not claimed within a reasonable period of time.  That is only fair because they found it, and were honest enough to notify the proper people of their discovery.

I am NOT recommending this approach every time you find something that someone has lost.  However, it is a consideration depending on the value of the item, the urgency of its return, and possibly other considerations.

I hope you appreciate this advice, it is something I will always remember.  Of course, to follow it your heart must be in the right place.  You must sincerely be willing to return the item to its rightful owner, either by turning it into a Lost & Found or if they step forth and describe it to you.

Finally, this is a good scenario to discuss with your employees.  How does this relate to your company values and how you want them to behave when no one is looking?

One way to discuss this with your team is to explain and discuss my real-life situations above, then give them scenarios that are more challenging in their work environment.  For instance:

1. You find a wallet with $324 in it, but no identification.  What should you do?
2. You find a pair of $100 sunglasses in the parking lot of our offices.  You cannot think of anyone in our company that wears those type of sunglasses.  They look awesome on you.  What should you do?
3. You find five $20 bills wrapped together on the floor in the cafeteria.  You are short of cash.  Is this a miracle or gift from God?  What should you do?
4. You find a brand-new 128GB iPad in the box on the ground in your parking lot.  You have dreamed of one, or at least can easily think of how you would enjoy it.  What should you do?
5. You find a really nice pen laying on the floor in the hallway of your office.  It's actually a type of pen that you would really like to use yourself.  What should you do?

The list can go on.  At some point change the conversation to where your people are finding things at a client's site.  How do you want them to behave there?

It may shock you, but integrity is a soft skill that affects every decision your employees make.  Without a common agreement on how to behave with integrity, many companies fail.  An example I always bring up is Enron.

This is why Dave's Charm School includes a course on Character Counts.  Salesforce says 77% of employers say soft skills are just as important as hard (technical) skills.  But most I.T. / managed service providers we meet do NOT teach soft skills.

We have to change to stay ahead of the game and grow.  I help leaders become better.  We work on leadership skills and systems to hire, manage, develop, and retain top performers, plus company culture, sales management, and strategic marketing.  Contact us if you, other leaders you know, and/or your company wants to improve.

Do your people know what makes your company different?

In strong company cultures leaders are role models who are not just instinctive about their company culture cornerstones, but students of it.

While the political wheels of an election year are turning, take a minute to answer these three questions about an entity that everyone has heard of: the United States of America.

1.  How many stars are in the American flag, and why were stars chosen?

There are 50 stars, representing the 50 states.  From a book about the flag published in 1977 by the House of Representatives.

The star is a symbol of the heavens and the divine goal to which man has aspired from time immemorial...

2.  How many stripes are there in the American flag, and why were stripes chosen as part of the design?

There are 13 stripes, representing the original 13 colonies that declared independence from Great Britain.  That same book about the flag published in 1977 by the House of Representatives explains...

... the stripe is symbolic of the rays of light emanating from the sun.

3.  What do the colors, red, white and blue in the American flag stand for?

White signifies purity and innocence;  Red, hardiness & valour;  and Blue, signifies vigilance, perseverance & justice.*

*These colors were actually defined in the design of America's Great Seal and then applied to our flag.  Learn more at U.S. Flag.

I have known the answers to #1 and #2 above since childhood, but I do not remember ever being taught the significance of the colors in America's Great Seal and flag. Consider the depth of character that was communicated, taught, and reinforced in this symbol of culture.

Where would America be today if every LEADER was a role model for these aspects of our cultural cornerstones that were the foundation of our nation? Similarly, it is the parents (leaders) of a family that determine its destiny, fate, and legacy.

When it comes to your company, do your people REALLY KNOW what makes your company different? Do they feel it in their heart?

If they do, how do you build upon that daily and weekly? If they do not, then procrastination about improving employee engagement is failure. You lose.  Your people lose (and their families).  Your clients lose.

Yet it does not have to be this way.

If you have a strong company culture, do not let up.  Continue to invest your time to learn and apply additional ways to improve it even more by playing to your strengths.

If your company culture is weaker than you would like, then do something about it.  2015 is gone.  So are they years before it.  You have a limited number of years ahead in your career.

Do it now.

We have to change to stay ahead of the game and grow.  I help leaders become better.  We work on leadership skills and systems to hire, manage, develop, and retain top performers, plus company culture, sales management, and strategic marketing.  Contact us if you, other leaders you know, and/or your company wants to improve.

How to motivate a sluggard

Dr. Henry Cloud defines a "sluggard" as someone who avoids making the difficult decisions, and thus is not as productive as they could be. These people can be irritating, or simply frustrating.

Here's a different way to work more effectively with people who irritate you or whom you want to better motivate: Rather than immediately attack the person or disengage so they can continue to behave in ways that are unproductive, pause for some reflective thinking and go on what I call a "resolution run."  The objective is to change our approach to a situation so we can consider new information that leads to a positive resolution

Here are some brief examples.  If the person is...

Not achieving results you want, then study what they believe are meaningful results to accomplish.  Appeal to their interest in achieving those results.

Not keeping others informed, then learn the behaviors they believe are necessary to be trusted.  If reasonable, then encourage them and those who need to be informed to behave that way.

Not submitting their time and/or documenting their work according to your standards, then confirm the standards they have for other people's work.  Have a team discussion about work standards.  Have them set the standards.  Suggest the company should then pay on performance (when your company is paid by clients).  Suggest that since their standards, which are different than yours might delay payment that this could hurt company cash flow as well as lower client satisfaction.  Thus, it makes sense that if their new standards slow cash flow, then your company might have to delay their compensation if lack of documentation motivates clients to not pay on time or stop services.

Not treating you fairly or respectfully, then study their standards for how to interact and/or serve others.  Encourage them to demonstrate the behaviors they deem important for others.

Often you can gain incredible insights into these motivations in the Driving Forces sections of our MANAGEtoWIN Talent Assessments.  Not only do you learn the most intense motivators that drive their behaviors, but they are also required to identify statements that best describe how to work with them.

You also need to validate your conclusions through observation, and data such as situations that happen in your work environment, emails, etc.

WARNING:  Never lose sight of your objective, which is a positive resolution.  You are not gathering this information to attack them.  Similar to a good cop-bad cop negotiation, the standards of your company, clients, and/or the other person's own expectations are the "bad cop."  You are the "good cop" that works with them to meet the standards of the "bad cop."

Why do I suggest this approach?

1. It works, when done sincerely.
2. This process removes assumptions on your part; and when you have discussed your conclusions with the other person, possibly assumptions they have had that are unproductive.
3. This process is respectful and professional when done without malice.
4. This approach should reinforce your company values.
5. This mini-system provides you with new information that can lead to new, better decisions.
6. When you go this route conflict is avoided.
7. And last but not least, understanding why someone does something is more important than how they are doing it.  This is because the why drives the how.

Is interesting to note a similar process can be followed to improve your ability to accomplish something that someone you respect has achieved.  For instance, if someone has achieved something in their career that you want to achieve, then study how their work enables them to live out their personal beliefs.

If someone has achieved financial success in a way that you could also accomplish, then study their beliefs about money and confirm whether their wealth was a fluke, or the result of a process that can be systematically applied in your life.

If someone has one or more relationships that are deeper and more fulfilling than your own, then study how they developed the trust to build and serve those relationships.

I want to thank Anthony Iannarino for inspiring these last four thoughts, even though I took my own spin on them and in this overall teaching. 

If you truly want to learn and grow, then focus more on the why that enables people to achieve meaningful results.  Once you understand that, then you can focus more on how they do their work.

We have to change to stay ahead of the game and grow.  I help leaders become better.  We work on leadership skills and systems to hire, manage, develop, and retain top performers, plus company culture, sales management, and strategic marketing.  Contact me if you, other leaders you know, and/or your company wants to improve.

When to Lie

The message you communicate when you say the phrase, "To be honest..." is that at some other point in your relationship with that person you have been less honest. Therefore I always encourage my Clients to develop the habit of saying, "To be candid..." instead. I believe this idea came from Zig Ziglar decades ago.

In general we believe to have integrity you must be totally honest at all times, but the key consideration is the word, "totally." For instance, if a terrorist is threatening your life, the circumstances may force you to be less than totally honest. It is logical to withhold information, or even lie in that situation for survival.

One cornerstone consideration is our lives can spin out of control if we are dishonest with ourselves. Self-honesty is crucial to our well-being and success. On the other hand, complete transparency with others about the details of our personal and professional lives requires careful discernment. There is a difference between being honest and sharing every little detail. Having integrity does not require us to be foolish.

I am NOT advocating lying. Lying hurts people, including yourself. There are plenty of reasons against lying. I hope none of us ever lie to ourselves, people we love, and our coworkers. My point is that you may need to consider a qualification or two if you want to make a commitment to "never lie" under any circumstances.  That vow by itself is not logical or wise because the statement is too broad.

The challenge, in varying degrees by person, is always demonstrating wise discernment for when less than total honesty and/or full disclosure is appropriate. Let me give you some examples beyond the one above with the terrorist:

1. Unreliable:  At times in our career we may work with people who cannot meet a deadline or be on time to a meeting to save their life. Or at least it seems that way... Therefore we may have to develop a habit of setting a schedule with them that is earlier than the real schedule. For instance, if you want something completed by Friday, you may have to tell them the due date is Wednesday to make certain they do not make you late on your commitments.

2. Fake Questions:  Sometimes we receive a demand for validation that is disguised as a sincere question. For example your spouse or special other may ask, "Honey, do these pants make me look fat?" A good habit to learn is to buy a moment of time to think. You might initially respond to their request with a delay, such as, "Hmmm... let me look." Use those few seconds to consider whether they truly want your feedback, or are merely seeking validation of the decision they have already made and will not change.

3. Poor Performers:  Similar to #2 above, we may have coworkers who are performing poorly. We have opportunities to comment on their performance and have to decide whether our response can be totally candid. Unfortunately in many company cultures we have to be careful what we say even when the facts support our conclusion that the person is not contributing as much as they should. Hopefully we can avoid an outright lie, but unless the other party is going to be receptive to our conclusions it is often best to be less than fully honest. Withholding information to avoid confrontation is not ideal, but sometimes necessary.

4. Surprises:  Some of the happiest moments you can give someone else is to surprise them in ways they appreciate. This may require you to be less than truthful for a short amount of time. I think this is self-explanatory, yet this example is a good reminder. "Honesty is the best policy," is true, but sometimes withholding information or redirecting people asking questions rather than answering candidly may be appropriate. (Notice often you can avoid an outright lie.)

5. Promotions:  It may happen in your career that you are offered a promotion that increases your responsibility, but not your authority. These are dangerous offers and should not be confused with opportunities. Most of the time it is a bad decision to accept any promotion unless you can confirm the ways your new authority matches your responsibilities in clear, measurable ways.

In closing, I encourage you to develop a habit of saying, "...to be candid..." and avoid situations that tempt you to lie. Consider walking away instead of adding another unhealthy element to an already unproductive situation.

PLEASE NOTE:  It is a lot easier to remember what you said when you tell the truth all the time, even if at times you believe it is best to withhold some information.

FOLLOW-UP

Consider Dan Busby's 100 Quotes on Trust.  These truisms apply to us all, nonprofit, for profit... any leader.

Thank John Pearson for sending this link along.  John is one of the most respected consultants for Christian nonprofits in the world.  I am blessed to consider him a friend.  Reach out to John if you ever need his type of guidance.  You won't be disappointed.

One question was raised by my email yesterday:  "What is the primary way leaders lie to others?"

If we consider "primary" to mean most often, then I suggest there is one habit that plagues most leaders.  The difference between an average or poor leader, and a truly great one, is the great leaders learn new, more powerful and positive habits and skills to overcome their bad habits.

The most common "lie" of leaders is they:

Fail to fulfill their commitments on time and/or as expected. 

I have several Clients right now who are wondering if I am speaking about them.  The answer is "yes," but "no," not you specifically.

Failing to follow-through means you did not do what you said you would do.  Some people call that a lie.  Others have different words for it.  I suggest too often leaders make commitments overly optimistically, because they do not want to say "no," and/or they do not have good delegating or communication skills.

You need new leadership systems and new habits.  In particular, these new habits take time to develop.  Don't wait!  Contact if you think I may be able to help or have any questions.

What's love got to do with it?

Do you want to follow the example of the most successful billionaire of all time?  Then love people sincerely.

This is the person who said people will know you by your love.  The most memorable person taught by this master said you can have the greatest skills in the world, but if you do not love people then you have nothing.

So love has EVERYTHING to do with it.  This begs the question, how can we be a role model of "love" in our organizations?

Please remember, the third strand of 3strands LEADERSHIP is Sincere Gratitude because you must value your employees in ways they prefer to create a self-motivating environment where they thrive.

1.  You.  It is very challenging to love others unless first you have a healthy appreciation of yourself.  This is a balance of self-accountability when you make mistakes and appreciation for when you do something well.  It also includes getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, eating a healthy diet, and maintaining a reasonable weight so you avoid the negative consequences of poor health.

LEADERS who are comfortable with themselves are less likely to make emotional decisions that negatively affect relationships.

2.  Circle.  Your "circle of life" includes your spouse or special friend, kids, relatives, friends, and very importantly, your mentors - formal or informal mentors.  These people invest in you whenever you interact with them.  Their responses and reactions to you affect your well being ("You") and your interactions with others.

What's an example of a healthy circle of life?  Regular uninterrupted time with your spouse or special friend, and time interacting with your kids - without looking at your cell phone or another squawk box.  Time hanging out and talking, playing games, or sharing adventures with friends.  Regular time giving and receiving in mentoring relationships.

LEADERS who have a healthy circle of life die rich in relationships and alter the course of history.

3.  Employees.  I have interviewed hundreds of job candidates and employees for Clients.  A common desire throughout the vast majority of these people is to work with people who give them respect, support, and encouragement.

Think about it:  When is the last time you interviewed a job candidate who said they thrive on confrontation and can hardly wait to start arguing or abusing people in your company?

Your people want to feel you sincerely care about them, and then have your behaviors confirm you truly do.  How you make them feel is much more important than what you say or do. 

LEADERS who appropriately, sincerely appreciate their team members in ways they prefer (not necessarily the leaders' natural style), create connections to overcome challenges that stop others who are less loving.

4.  Clients.  What is the #1 thing your clients want from you?  They want to trust you.  Trust that you do great work for them, respond quickly, and have their best interests at heart.

Can your clients trust you if they believe you do not care about them - they are not feeling da love?  No.

LEADERS who appropriately, sincerely appreciate their clients in ways they prefer (not necessarily the leaders' natural style), do better work, grow their business more rapidly, and have customers for life.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

You let "stuff" eat up all your time and you do not make expressing Sincere Gratitude (that love thing...) to others.

Make the time.  Living the Platinum Rule always lifts people up and makes our lives more fulfilling:  Treat others the way they want to be treated.  Love them with Sincere Gratitude.

P.S.  In 1984 Tina Turner released a song titled, What's Love Got To Do With It.  I never liked it.  Still don't.  Catchy rhythm, but I think the message stinks.  Her song was not the inspiration for this encouragement.

SUGGESTION

Show Sincere Gratitude to your service manager, sales manager, operations manager, PARTNER, and/or other leader by signing them up for our Certified LEADER program that kicks off the week of October 5 and runs through March 2016.  Help them become the leaders they were designed to be (and you want them to be)!  Tell me what you want them to learn, and I will work with them to develop those habits.

Five leaders, five ideas

There was a Harvard Business Review article recently that analyzed interviews with 5 incredibly successful coaches of the past in search of common ways to win in very competitive situations.

The coaches:

Sir Alex Ferguson, legendary coach of Manchester United football
Joe Girardi, New York Yankees Manager - 500 game winner
Bela Karolyi, coached gymnasts to 9 Olympic golds
Bill Parcells, turned around 3 NFL teams
Bill Walsh, SF 49er Coach - 3 Super Bowl wins

My conclusions differ a bit from the writer.

Habits

Decisions often have to be made quickly and our instant responses or reactions to situations define our leadership impact.  Often there is limited time or no time to think.

This is why my consulting and coaching work incorporates habit development.  Joe Girardi said you cannot think too much.  "The key is preparation... The data has to become instinctual.  You can't think about it in the middle of a pitch."

Adaptation

We teach this very effectively with our Talent Assessments.  The key is to adapt your behavior, especially your communication style, to the preferred style of the employee, Client, or other person whom you are engaging.

Your extremely effective behavior or communication with one person can be a disaster with another.  Know your people.  Teach your team to understand and respect their differences, and adapt to each others' preferred behaviors to improve productivity and fulfillment.

Bela Karolyi gave this insight: "Find out what part of their mind is clicking, what part of their character is responding to you, and what's the one thing you have to avoid."

Consider Coach Karolyi's advice, and then be more intentional rather than just behave instinctively most of the time.

Encouragement

Even superstars can have their feelings hurt.  Sir Alex Ferguson coached, "Few people get better with criticism;  most respond to encouragement instead.  So I tried to give encouragement when I could.  For a player - for any human being - there is nothing better than hearing 'Well done.'  Those are the two best words ever invested.  You don't need to use superlatives."

This applies to your weakest team member AND your strongest.  Your team is only as good as the person who appears to be contributing the least, and you can only extend your strengths as far as your superstars are willing to engage with others.

The key here is to be sincere.  Do not embellish, stretch the truth, or say something that is a lie.  Brief, honest, heart-felt appreciation is an example of Sincere Gratitude, the third strand of 3strands LEADERSHIP.

Candor

Yes, being direct, honest, and sincere is good, but if your natural communication style is judgment rather than encouragement then you are tearing people AND TEAMS down rather then building them up.

Bill Walsh advised, "It sounds just great to say that you are going to be honest and direct.  But insensitive, hammer-like shots that are delivered in the name of honesty and openness usually do the greatest damage to people.  The damage ends up reverberating throughout the entire organization..."

Applying Coach Walsh's advice comes back to your habits and ability to adapt to the preferred behaviors of others.  Candor communicated well is a requirement for strong relationships.

Belief

Too many of us have a childhood memory or lifelong message ingrained in our soul that we "are not good enough."  Choose a different message.  Believe in your people.

Develop 3strands LEADER habits to come alongside them instead of come down on them.  Adapt to their behavioral preferences to build a stronger bond with them.  Sincerely encourage others based on specific contributions they have made.  Be open and caring about others.

I hope your July is closing strong.  August and September are great times to work on leadership, company culture, and client experience.  Work ON your business, not FOR your business.  Don't miss these windows of opportunity before the 4Q rush!  NOW is the time to develop your company's ability to grow.

3 Powerful Tips to Resolve Conflict

I just finished production of our Charm School library to train soft skills to your help desk, systems engineers, sales people, operations folks... EVERYONE needs better soft skills.

Use coupon code DavesDone for a 50% discount - LIMITED TIME OFFER.  Visit www.MANAGEtoWIN.com/CharmSchool to learn more.

The final course I created is on conflict.  WOW!  Apply what you learn in this one session and you will increase your profits by 10-100X the cost of the entire library.  Here are some quick highlights:

1.  Inflammatory Thinking:  When someone "pulls one of your triggers" to move into fight or flight mode, your mind instinctively shifts into inflammatory thinking.  This is blame-based thinking that blocks your ability to solve problems.  This is one reason why people get stuck in conflict.

2.  Emotional Flooding:  If you allow your inflammatory thinking to continue it causes emotional flooding.  Your heartbeat increases, breathing gets shorter and more rapid, your stress level intensifies in seconds, and your urgency to do something NOW screams at you to take action.

One author, Anna Maravelas, concludes this triggers a Cycle of Contempt.  Everything you focus on defends your actions and blames the other party.  Problem-solving is gone.  It actually shortens your life according to certain studies.  Your entire focus is on winning and/or defending yourself rather than resolution.

I think in the future a better term for me that describes this cycle is a Cycle of Self-Focus.

3.  So what's the alternative?  Maravelas suggests you have to choose a Cycle of Courage.  In a Cycle of Courage the primary objective is saving the relationship or a shared objective (other authors/experts) rather than win / serve self as your primary goal.

Moving forward I might call this a Cycle of Relationship-Focus.  I am growing to prefer the Self vs. Relationship terms more than Contempt-Courage, but go with what you want. 

The bottom line is almost all conflict is due to failed systems and processes - such as weak leadership - rather than incompetent people... and I suggest, our bad habits.

I cannot cover everything that is in the No Drama training on conflict here.  You can improve your conflict resolution skills by being more aware of when someone hits your triggers and you start emotionally flooding.  If you catch it, then you can refocus all your energies on preserving / improving the relationship more than protecting yourself.  This helps you avoid more conflict, and resolve drama when it occurs much more effectively.

If you feel your team could demonstrate better soft skills - don't miss our Charm School library while the sale lasts!  Remember to use coupon code DavesDone to save 50% before the sale is over.

We help entrepreneurial leaders develop NEW habits to overpower their less productive ones.  Our work often extends into company culture and employee training to "make price irrelevant."  Contact me  if you would like to become the leader you were designed to be and more positively impact the lives of others.